Weaned...

Bittersweet. Lauren is officially weaned as of today. I no longer have a baby, and this is my last baby to nurse. Happy to start the journey to getting my body back, and to be honest just having myself back.. but sad that I will never do this again. I can't believe I nursed my 3rd child for a year. I would NEVER have thought this would happen a short 6 years ago. In fact, I remember 10 years ago thinking I would probably bottle feed, and I was pretty defensive when people mentioned the idea of breast feeding and had a problem with people who didn't. Little did I know that after becoming pregnant, I would start to think it was a good idea, and after having my first baby I would feel like it was my job & responsibility as a Mom. I still understand that many don't/can't and I believe it is for each person to decide.. but for me I can't imagine it any other way. I'm so glad I had such a great support group of nursing friends around me, and I'm so glad I was able to experience nursing my babies. I still remember how difficult it was in the beginning with Taylor, and how hard it was for me to adjust to someone that dependent and attached to me. I actually remember counting down the months until she was 6 months old and I could start nursing her part time. I remember how I felt like I needed to leave the room when I nursed her and we had people over, and how I always felt like I was missing out on something with all that time I spent out of the room. She was done nursing by 9.5 months, and we had no issues when it came to stopping. She was ready, I was ready and we never looked back. Then #2 came along... I call him the child who needed to eat all the time... I struggled with my milk supply for some reason with Zach, and why I will never know. I think it might have had a lot to do with the stress I was under during that time in my life.. with working, and his fussiness.. regardless, we made it.. and he nursed until 10 months. I was sad when I had to stop nursing him... but I was hoping it wasn't my last baby. And finally, along comes surprise baby #3... Miss Lauren. Truly my baby. I was home full time at this point, no longer pumping while at work during the day, and this child refused to take a bottle. She was and is stubborn, and I was and am busy... so nursing full time it was.. for this entire year. She has taken a few bottles in her life.. but not many. She generally went hungry when I wasn't around, but she survived. With #3, nursing was a way to relax, to get away from the chaos & a break.. a time for me to spend one on one with my baby girl. I no longer felt left out when I left the room, but savored the little bit of quiet. I nursed in public with a nursing cover, and had pretty much lost most of modesty by this point. :) 3 weeks ago I decided to start weaning her to whole milk. I knew it was time... if I didn't make the call.. I think she would probably have nursed forever. She has transitioned to a cup and whole milk like a champ. She is cruising around the room holding onto furniture, and while she is still my baby, it feels like she is losing a little bit of that baby each day....